you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
