why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
