pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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