Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
