I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she pinky promised me she was 18
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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