Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
