so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
