if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
