So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
