So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
