whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
