You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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