her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
