so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize