im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
