Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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