Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
