belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
