How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
