I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize