for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
