508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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