Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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