Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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