sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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