There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
