if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
