Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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