What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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