I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
