i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
