btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My feet surprised me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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