Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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