I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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