"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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