i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
