watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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