How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
