her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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