i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
