I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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