This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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