I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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