is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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