i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize