Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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