Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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