He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
