So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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