my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
