Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
