Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
