what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
