nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
