yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
