Screwed.edu
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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