you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize