I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
