i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
