I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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